Thursday, December 24, 2009

Twas the Night Before Christmas Remastered by Jayson Wilkinson

I wrote this about 5 years ago and I figured it was time to re-release this for the good of the 2 readers I have. Enjoy!



Twas the night before Christmas, back in '91

Everyone was chillin cause finals was done

The shinny suit was hung over the lounge chair with care

mostly because MC Hammer was near

His fans were nestled all snugg in their beds

With the hook from "You can't touch this" playing in their heads

And Mama in her houseshoes and me in my du-rag

both our doors; double bolted so Santa won't lag

Then out on my porch I saw someone tan

On his belt, the buckle simply read, " Hammerman"

Now Santa wears Red with some white in between

but Hammer wear black and purple and green

Santa rides sleds fueled by magical forces

Hammer rolls deep in cars with maaaad horses

And Santa wears hats and a smile on his face

But Hammer rocks chains that hang down to his waist

Now to the window I started to rush

from my mama's room I heard her call out, "Boy, Hush"

He rolled with two men; the smaller, the announcer

From the size of the other I figured him a bouncer

The smaller yawned as his throat started to clear

"Open the fucking door, THE Hammerman is here!"

I ran down the stairs past the velvet picture of Jesus

but I got there in time, just to see him leave us

No cars, No suits, No army of lackies

Just a Geo, a cat, and a pusher in khakis

Where did he go? This jerk knows I'm a fan?

All I wanted for Christmas was to meet Hammerman

As the tears did fall, I turned to walk away

To find a package was blocking my way

It was big as boulder but shaped like a person

"Close the door, the heat's leaving" my Mama was cursin'

So I dragged my gift in, and unwrapped it with joy

Inside was a lifesize Hammerman toy

A man of few words, the Hammer wrote words that fit

The card attached said simply, " Stay 2 Legit 2 Quit"

Screw Vanilla, Screw En Vogue, Screw BVD

MC Hammer came through with a gift just for me

SO forget Boyz II Men and that group Kid N PLay

MC Hammer's the one that made this kid's day

To all that love the season, Happy Holidays I wish

but if you see Hammerman remember, You can't touch this

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